Wow. I can't believe I only have two more weeks left here. I'm finding myself feeling a little more anxious, feelings all over the place, not sure how to gather my thoughts or "make the most" of these last days. I'm trying to focus my head day to day but that's nearly impossible: what photos and mini-gifts should I give to people? What birthday present should I make for (my friend/co-worker) Natalie? What should I do for my last weekends off? How can I show people in the best, clearest way how much I love them? Who knows! And no answer will be totally satisfying or possibly "the best" because there are so many ways to respond to those questions, and in the end, the experience will be over. I will have to accept whatever happened as one pretty crazy and awesome year!
Two weekends ago I switched my off-days to be able to go out to Boston with Natalie. Her main goal was to shop and a mutual goal was to attend a heavy metal concert (few and far between around these parts)! Natalie did do shopping and it took her a day to recover from feeling guilty. The heavy metal band was good but there weren't enough people so the energy was a bit low. Either way we wore all black, fish nets, and black make-up to get ourselves in the mood :)
This past weekend I went to Montreal with a current and former volunteer. It was good to talk to a volunteer from last year about his experience - how the residents and volunteers were then v. now, how much has changed on the farm, how he felt about his experience before and afterwards. Talking with a former volunteer helps settle me a little, knowing that this place won't just disappear and that I'll probably visit again. In terms of Montreal, I fell in love with the place over a mere day and a half! I got the impression that it has plenty of things I would enjoy living around: French, cafes and smaller shops, nice parks, culture, diversity, fun night scene, young people, liberal, mix of nature and city, etc. We stayed in a small, rented apartment and went to a dance club 1234 (ladies free before midnight!) and danced the night away for hours. The next day we walked to a good ice cream shop and a Montreal bagel place (I gather the difference is that their bagels have bigger holes and are round and have seasoning on both sides as opposed to not on the bottom). We also walked around the Latin Quarter, saw circus people performing and a life-sized chess game, and bought a lot of cold drinks that day (heat wave this weekend). In addition, some old man went up to my friend and scratched his beard. There are also some strange people there!
This week I plan on going to a shooting range, a roadside bbq place and the drive-in movie theatre in Milford (things that have been on my wish list for a while). Hope it works out!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
California Love
So Julia Bruckner is now Julia Newman! The deal was sealed at the Sequoia Retreat Center last weekend, 140 friends and family as witnesses, inside a main lodge due to continous downpours. It was a week full of laughter, dancing, drinking, and reconnecting (esp with my nieces/nephews and the only cousin close to my age, who suddenly grew like a redwood and dropped octaves in his voice since I last saw him). The bachelorette party in San Francisco was a blast - 20some girls in hot pink wigs parading around the North Beach area, free drinks offered at our feet, and sweaty dancing through the night! And I know I said in my last post that my goal was to sing/dance with Randy Newman - well we only exchanged some greetings, but his family members complimented me on my singing during the ceremony so that's a point! Plus, I discovered it was more important to me to chill with the people I already knew I loved. Awwww. Some wedding pictures can be seen through facebook but I'm still waiting for more.
So that week was a refreshing way to jump into the last 2 months I have here at Plowshare. I have revived energy and motivation and just want to make the most of the end. My friends (Erin and Natalie) becoming co-workers has turned out to be a pretty great situation - we're basically the coolest house at Plowshare. Both of them will be staying another year so I have extra impetus to come back and visit. But for now...
I'm loving getting sweaty during workshop and being able to dive into the pond for a swim. Anyone who knows me in Chapel Hill will know that I love lakes and a pond is the next best thing. I suppose I've traded the risk of taking a breath to see goose poop floating on the water for taking a breath to inhale pond flies. The point is, it's WATER and I can SWIM now!
I'm loving the fact that our house bought a slack line that we set up in our back yard and I can practice on. I haven't made it all the way across yet, but my goal is to be able to in a few weeks. That and the hand-made hula hoops aren't really doing a good job in my defense that this is not some hippy-dippy intentional community...it's so much more! haha
I'm NOT loving the immense about of bugs, bug bites, bug spray, bugging, buggers, boogers, etc.
In other news, we've started milking the second cow and she's much more a tail-whacker and milk pail stepper than the older, wiser cow. I keep hoping that my "uh uh, no you don't" gut reactions will somehow make her feel guilty and stop, but maybe I just need to give her some time. I mean, if I was suddenly being milked every day for the first time, I would probably feel uncomfortable, too.
So that week was a refreshing way to jump into the last 2 months I have here at Plowshare. I have revived energy and motivation and just want to make the most of the end. My friends (Erin and Natalie) becoming co-workers has turned out to be a pretty great situation - we're basically the coolest house at Plowshare. Both of them will be staying another year so I have extra impetus to come back and visit. But for now...
I'm loving getting sweaty during workshop and being able to dive into the pond for a swim. Anyone who knows me in Chapel Hill will know that I love lakes and a pond is the next best thing. I suppose I've traded the risk of taking a breath to see goose poop floating on the water for taking a breath to inhale pond flies. The point is, it's WATER and I can SWIM now!
I'm loving the fact that our house bought a slack line that we set up in our back yard and I can practice on. I haven't made it all the way across yet, but my goal is to be able to in a few weeks. That and the hand-made hula hoops aren't really doing a good job in my defense that this is not some hippy-dippy intentional community...it's so much more! haha
I'm NOT loving the immense about of bugs, bug bites, bug spray, bugging, buggers, boogers, etc.
In other news, we've started milking the second cow and she's much more a tail-whacker and milk pail stepper than the older, wiser cow. I keep hoping that my "uh uh, no you don't" gut reactions will somehow make her feel guilty and stop, but maybe I just need to give her some time. I mean, if I was suddenly being milked every day for the first time, I would probably feel uncomfortable, too.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
I'm aliiive!
So again, the common theme of posts: I slack on them. But alas, it is finally really spring! The flowers are blooming, the lettuce is harvestable, the peas are showing about an inch above ground, and we will be getting pigs tomorrow (a sign that it's really spring)! I am loving the weather. Yesterday I spent a day with one of the volunteers eating ice cream, walking down a "rails to trails" path in Jaffrey, joy riding down to MA to discover how many lakes and cute recreation towns around them exist, and coming back to the farm to make and decorate some hula hoops (a project I've been meaning to do since I got here). The sheep and lambs are mowing the grass outside our house, and soon our farm will get hundreds of meat chickens (70 we'll keep for eggs) on this new "chicken tractor" system where the farmer will move the chickens around the pasture every few days. Lots of things happening on the farm.
In terms of Plowshare, there's other business buzzing. May is when the school classes come (between 13-20 kids and chaperones) so our workshops adjust to make sure the kids are busy. My houseparents and resident Jenny moved out last weekend and my two volunteer friends (Erin and Natalie) moved into the houseparent role and brought along another resident to take Jenny's room. I'm still adjusting to having my friends become coworkers now (and the potential tensions coming from business becoming closer to relationships) and am bummed we can't all go out anymore together. That's a biggie. But so far things are working out pretty well and I have confidence that with time, things will smooth out.
Then, the first week of June I'll be in CA for my sister Julia's wedding! Should be fun, and Randy Newman's fam will be there! (He's the "You've Got a Friend in Me"/Toy Story singer). Goal of mine: to sing/dance with Randy at the reception...
It's too nice to be inside now, so I think I'll test out my new hula hoops, go for a walk and a nap, and sing some karaoke tonight. Ahh off days, so sweet...
In terms of Plowshare, there's other business buzzing. May is when the school classes come (between 13-20 kids and chaperones) so our workshops adjust to make sure the kids are busy. My houseparents and resident Jenny moved out last weekend and my two volunteer friends (Erin and Natalie) moved into the houseparent role and brought along another resident to take Jenny's room. I'm still adjusting to having my friends become coworkers now (and the potential tensions coming from business becoming closer to relationships) and am bummed we can't all go out anymore together. That's a biggie. But so far things are working out pretty well and I have confidence that with time, things will smooth out.
Then, the first week of June I'll be in CA for my sister Julia's wedding! Should be fun, and Randy Newman's fam will be there! (He's the "You've Got a Friend in Me"/Toy Story singer). Goal of mine: to sing/dance with Randy at the reception...
It's too nice to be inside now, so I think I'll test out my new hula hoops, go for a walk and a nap, and sing some karaoke tonight. Ahh off days, so sweet...
Friday, March 4, 2011
It's March! still snow...
I keep thinking that any day now, all the snow will melt, the daisies will pop out and I'll be running into our pond for an after-workshop swim. Now it's more like: snow keeps surprising us, the occasional melt makes our farm into a slip-and-slide, and I slide into the house for more hot cocoa and cookies after workshop :)
The past two weekends I've been in New York City. The first NYC visit was with Danny (a volunteer) to his friend's apartment where we hung out mostly inside, watching slam dunk contests and Man v. Food, and me throwing up in public trash cans due to the stomach flu. The second time I went with Natalie and Erin where we went site-seeing and stayed with Anne, my sister Christine's roommate from MN. I was feeling much better and needless to say had a better time! This weekend Jen and Namara are coming to her house in Amherst and we'll have a happy Macalester reunion sleep-over tonight :) She's up for guiding a circus performance with kids, leprachaun-themed? Sounds intriguing...I'll let you know if I see it!
Tomorrow is my Dad's 70th birthday! Now he's in CA with my Mom, my brothers and their families for a few months. I sent him a card I had worked on for a while. The cover is a portrait I drew of him and in the inside are some German quotes that I like. I want to make my Pop proud!
I feel like I'm learning a lot about myself at this place. Any given day I can be up or down, mad or sad, reflective or normal, at peace or nervous. I look up to Natalie - she's worked in communities for years and says that through that experience has found herself much more. I can see what she means about "coming out of yourself" more now...I'm learning how to be more honest with how I feel in the moment it arises, which usually means being more direct. It's one of the hardest things for me to do with some of the residents and with people in general. I find that there's a lot of fear around things that I do, worrying about how a resident will react or a volunteer will take it. But sometimes it's necessary to fight with friends, to learn how to deal with all parts of people, the good, the bad and the ugly. To just try things for the sake of trying and learning if that's how you want to do it next time. Not to say I think I'm becoming a hard-ass, but that I'm learning how to be more comfortable with myself.
The past two weekends I've been in New York City. The first NYC visit was with Danny (a volunteer) to his friend's apartment where we hung out mostly inside, watching slam dunk contests and Man v. Food, and me throwing up in public trash cans due to the stomach flu. The second time I went with Natalie and Erin where we went site-seeing and stayed with Anne, my sister Christine's roommate from MN. I was feeling much better and needless to say had a better time! This weekend Jen and Namara are coming to her house in Amherst and we'll have a happy Macalester reunion sleep-over tonight :) She's up for guiding a circus performance with kids, leprachaun-themed? Sounds intriguing...I'll let you know if I see it!
Tomorrow is my Dad's 70th birthday! Now he's in CA with my Mom, my brothers and their families for a few months. I sent him a card I had worked on for a while. The cover is a portrait I drew of him and in the inside are some German quotes that I like. I want to make my Pop proud!
I feel like I'm learning a lot about myself at this place. Any given day I can be up or down, mad or sad, reflective or normal, at peace or nervous. I look up to Natalie - she's worked in communities for years and says that through that experience has found herself much more. I can see what she means about "coming out of yourself" more now...I'm learning how to be more honest with how I feel in the moment it arises, which usually means being more direct. It's one of the hardest things for me to do with some of the residents and with people in general. I find that there's a lot of fear around things that I do, worrying about how a resident will react or a volunteer will take it. But sometimes it's necessary to fight with friends, to learn how to deal with all parts of people, the good, the bad and the ugly. To just try things for the sake of trying and learning if that's how you want to do it next time. Not to say I think I'm becoming a hard-ass, but that I'm learning how to be more comfortable with myself.
Friday, February 11, 2011
spit
Ahh, now I´m sitting in my brother Marc´s apartment after having slept 9 hours on the most comfortable floor mattress, awaiting my greek yogurt breakfast and a day of my first experience downhill skiing. Leora, his girlfriend, is here this weekend too. Though it feels like -5 out and I'll likely come back very sore, this is just what I needed at the end of the week.
That resident I mentioned in my last blog, with whom I live and who is my biggest challenge, again blew up a few times this week. It's become a pattern on Mondays (euhh, dreaded Mondays) that he will not listen to me and/or threaten me and/or walk away from the farm. It's the day I carry the house alone. So this Monday he wanted to take a shower 20 minutes before workshop started. I asked him to take it later that day so that the whole house could use the bathroom. That was it. Those are the kinds of things that freak him out - someone asking him to change. So he started calling me names and threatening me. Five minutes later I was in the bathroom helping another resident brush her teeth and he comes in and continues to insult and threaten my life, and once the house parent came down because he heard the noise, the resident steps right up to my face and spat on me. SPAT ON MY FACE. I said, "THAT IS NOT OK" and slammed and locked the door. The other residents were either hiding in their rooms or crying.
The house is still an uncomfortable place for me to hang around. Every free time I have I usually go to another house - it's more fun and relaxed. Since Monday there have been some changes, like he force apologized to all of us (for that, walking out in a meeting, talking back to us, all in one forced "sorry"), he's getting back on his med's, the founders of the farm are taking him on Monday mornings and evenings, and he's gotten a lot of harsh or sly talks. I've decided that I am not going to go out of my way to walk on egg shells with him anymore. I will talk when I have to get things done, but I'm not going out of my way to be nice or his friend "to build trust" and hope he won't do that crap to me anymore. If he doesn't show me respect, there is no reason for me to shower him with it.
That resident I mentioned in my last blog, with whom I live and who is my biggest challenge, again blew up a few times this week. It's become a pattern on Mondays (euhh, dreaded Mondays) that he will not listen to me and/or threaten me and/or walk away from the farm. It's the day I carry the house alone. So this Monday he wanted to take a shower 20 minutes before workshop started. I asked him to take it later that day so that the whole house could use the bathroom. That was it. Those are the kinds of things that freak him out - someone asking him to change. So he started calling me names and threatening me. Five minutes later I was in the bathroom helping another resident brush her teeth and he comes in and continues to insult and threaten my life, and once the house parent came down because he heard the noise, the resident steps right up to my face and spat on me. SPAT ON MY FACE. I said, "THAT IS NOT OK" and slammed and locked the door. The other residents were either hiding in their rooms or crying.
The house is still an uncomfortable place for me to hang around. Every free time I have I usually go to another house - it's more fun and relaxed. Since Monday there have been some changes, like he force apologized to all of us (for that, walking out in a meeting, talking back to us, all in one forced "sorry"), he's getting back on his med's, the founders of the farm are taking him on Monday mornings and evenings, and he's gotten a lot of harsh or sly talks. I've decided that I am not going to go out of my way to walk on egg shells with him anymore. I will talk when I have to get things done, but I'm not going out of my way to be nice or his friend "to build trust" and hope he won't do that crap to me anymore. If he doesn't show me respect, there is no reason for me to shower him with it.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
what a week
I've had so many thoughts and feelings this week that I feel it must've been a month already. Time is so relative.
I've had fun. I went sledding with two cute little girls in Hancock last weekend, the first time I've been sledding in a few years. I had some good laughs at a few bars. I was reminded of how much I love Mulan. I ate delicious Indian buffet and got some feel-good clothes at the Salvation Army. I'm also getting closer to the other AmeriCorps volunteer, Erin, by taking winter hikes or talking about what seeds we want to order and what kind of gardens we want to grow. I'm especially excited about an herb garden - I've always wanted to grow and make my own tea and medicate myself with herbs.
I sat with a dead body. A lot of people who believe in Anthroposophy have a vigil for their dead family member, where for the entirety of three days, someone has to sit with the corpse to help release the spirit. You can sing, read, think positive thoughts, play music, just as long as you are with the person. Our Eurythmist's mom died and many co-workers and some volunteers volunteered to take 2-3 hour night shifts to help the family out (they are Russian immigrants and not many of them live here). Erin and I woke up at 3am to drive there and experience the small lit candles, the inscense, the Steiner books, and the real, lifeless body, covered in dyed silk veils, that lay in an open casket in front of us. It made me think of how I want to go - I had always assumed cremation, with my ashes scattered on some meaningful piece of land, but this vigil made a good impression on me. It was a good experience.
I cried from built-up frustration at the volunteer meeting we have every week with the boss. I've been having a rough time with one of the residents in my house who has severe emotional damage (from his poor upbringing) and a low IQ. He always makes public phone calls (on speaker phone, wandering around the house) cursing and saying (and hearing) awful things. When I tried to ask him to make phone calls in his room, he blew up on me, threatened me, etc. Very simple requests, if they're anything that would make him change his ways, are 98% of the time understood by him as attacks, and he will do anything to try to put himself above you. He targets the fact that I'm only a volunteer, only a female, and therefore I know nothing. A few days later him and another resident in the house had a real verbal (and nearly physical) fight. The man he was insulting was black, and you can imagine the direction he took his attacks. This resident is such a challenge for me to even tolerate, it's such a different type of resident who for me requires much more patience and will-power that I don't have in the moment. I'm not trying to hang out with him to establish a closer relationship with him because any time I'm off or don't have to see him, I don't want to. I can't feel very at home when I feel like I have to walk on egg shells to try to prevent another illogical blow-up, feeling like my body is trapping what I actually think so I can spit out what I am told to say. I could go on for so long...the point is, I'm struggling with that.
Oh, Spring, come a little sooner this year, ok?
I've had fun. I went sledding with two cute little girls in Hancock last weekend, the first time I've been sledding in a few years. I had some good laughs at a few bars. I was reminded of how much I love Mulan. I ate delicious Indian buffet and got some feel-good clothes at the Salvation Army. I'm also getting closer to the other AmeriCorps volunteer, Erin, by taking winter hikes or talking about what seeds we want to order and what kind of gardens we want to grow. I'm especially excited about an herb garden - I've always wanted to grow and make my own tea and medicate myself with herbs.
I sat with a dead body. A lot of people who believe in Anthroposophy have a vigil for their dead family member, where for the entirety of three days, someone has to sit with the corpse to help release the spirit. You can sing, read, think positive thoughts, play music, just as long as you are with the person. Our Eurythmist's mom died and many co-workers and some volunteers volunteered to take 2-3 hour night shifts to help the family out (they are Russian immigrants and not many of them live here). Erin and I woke up at 3am to drive there and experience the small lit candles, the inscense, the Steiner books, and the real, lifeless body, covered in dyed silk veils, that lay in an open casket in front of us. It made me think of how I want to go - I had always assumed cremation, with my ashes scattered on some meaningful piece of land, but this vigil made a good impression on me. It was a good experience.
I cried from built-up frustration at the volunteer meeting we have every week with the boss. I've been having a rough time with one of the residents in my house who has severe emotional damage (from his poor upbringing) and a low IQ. He always makes public phone calls (on speaker phone, wandering around the house) cursing and saying (and hearing) awful things. When I tried to ask him to make phone calls in his room, he blew up on me, threatened me, etc. Very simple requests, if they're anything that would make him change his ways, are 98% of the time understood by him as attacks, and he will do anything to try to put himself above you. He targets the fact that I'm only a volunteer, only a female, and therefore I know nothing. A few days later him and another resident in the house had a real verbal (and nearly physical) fight. The man he was insulting was black, and you can imagine the direction he took his attacks. This resident is such a challenge for me to even tolerate, it's such a different type of resident who for me requires much more patience and will-power that I don't have in the moment. I'm not trying to hang out with him to establish a closer relationship with him because any time I'm off or don't have to see him, I don't want to. I can't feel very at home when I feel like I have to walk on egg shells to try to prevent another illogical blow-up, feeling like my body is trapping what I actually think so I can spit out what I am told to say. I could go on for so long...the point is, I'm struggling with that.
Oh, Spring, come a little sooner this year, ok?
Friday, January 14, 2011
SNOW like WOAH
My house is pretty warm so I always sleep with the windows cracked. When I woke up in the middle of the night on Tuesday to snow flakes and a damp blanket over my body, I knew the blizzard had begun. It didn't stop snowing until Wednesday night! The whole day's worth of shoveling those nearly 2 ft of snow had to be essentially redone because of all the wind. I felt like I was in a sandstorm with the amount of dunes and ripples stacking outside our houses. Needless to say, there's been a lot of fun, cold falls, hot chocolate and cider since. I have yet to steal a kid's sleigh and zoom down one of our hills.
Other than that, not much new. Paul the volunteer has a friend from Holland staying for 3 weeks to help out and experience a little bit of America. (They're also going to New York and bigger places together - I'd be slightly dissapointed if my only impression of America was a small place in the woods). It's always fun to have people visit and mix things up. I also recently decided that every Friday I'm going to spend more time on the computer and look up possibilities for next year. As of now, I'm just looking at sustainable/agriculture-related jobs in and outside of the US. If any of you souls out there have a great organization or place to recommend to me, please do so at any time in the next 4 months!
Til next time...
Other than that, not much new. Paul the volunteer has a friend from Holland staying for 3 weeks to help out and experience a little bit of America. (They're also going to New York and bigger places together - I'd be slightly dissapointed if my only impression of America was a small place in the woods). It's always fun to have people visit and mix things up. I also recently decided that every Friday I'm going to spend more time on the computer and look up possibilities for next year. As of now, I'm just looking at sustainable/agriculture-related jobs in and outside of the US. If any of you souls out there have a great organization or place to recommend to me, please do so at any time in the next 4 months!
Til next time...
Friday, January 7, 2011
Needle in the balloon
I am baack! (Also using a German computer and constantly struggling with the keypad).
Vacation was great. I went home to Chapel Hill to see my parents and my sister Christine for 10 days. During that time I slept in (greatest feeling ever), ate, saw a few friends, and played in the lovely fluffy snow of North Carolina. I miss fat,slow flakes and it melting and still looking pretty. Not only has snow meant immense fun in my childhood, but even a few days off of school or early dismissals. And early dismissals meant one thing - getting to watch Garfield, which always annoyingly played the 30 minutes before I normally got back from school. During the vacation, we also looked for some bridesmaid dress potentials (my oldest sister is getting married in June in the Redwood forest of CA), went swimming in a pool, saw a musical version of the "Christmas Carol" (filled with "hahaha"s and "ho ho ho"s!) and went to a slightly awkward and half-entertaining German party (some of them my parents knew). Who knew you could gather so many Germans in one house in Chapel Hill.
Christmas Eve was nice. We went to a Moravian Lovefeast at our Church and caught up with some youth leaders and Christians I hadn't spoken to in years. We drank a warm German wine concoction (pronounced glue-vine), sang, and opened a few presents. Christine promised to either help me visit her in MN or come visit here, the best present she could've given me. If you're reading this Christine, now it's online so that means it's official.
For New Years I took a 9hour megabus ride down to DC to visit my college friend MaryBeth and see another college friend Sara. MaryBeth lives in a 7-person LVC (Lutheran Volunteer Corps) house and we bond over the pros and cons of communal living. New Years Eve we had plenty of wine before heading out to a dance club where we danced the whole night and met guys from Swaziland who had Macalester connections. The rest of the weekend was resting, watching the intense movie of "The Last King of Scotland" (very good), and walking around monuments and other DC neighborhoods. I had a really good time and I was a little scared of coming back to Plowshare.
But now I'm here and things are looking up. It was exciting to see everyone and catch up with the volunteers. I have officially moved into the Red House and though I'm still transitioning (new responsibilities, no longer involved with the Hill House which I miss, and very creepy and loud noises from my walls and the heater in my room) I think this will help me feel more involved in the communal living thing. My room is almost always a sunny golden (when it's light out, of course) because of the windows and direction it faces, which I love.
Last night we celebrated Epiphany. The whole community ate warm rice pudding, three people found an almond that made them one of the wise kings for the night. I and two others sang solos for the "we three kings" song and the Christmas tree was lit (REAL candles, ahh) for the last time. It's moments like these that fill me with peace and content - it all feels right.
I was talking to my volunteer friend, Natalie, about her vacation. She spent it on the farm and two of her friends visited her for a short time. She described the situation as these people from the outside popping her balloon, shocking her with the reality of the world that goes on outside of Plowshare. I feel this way when I visit my brother, Boston, or home, when I read the newspaper and remember that horrendous things, exciting political decisions, war, all of that is still going on. I use the internet only a few times a week, watch a TV show once a week, and when I have time and spot a newspaper on the farm, soak that up maybe once a week. In a way, it is nice. I can focus more on myself, on how to deal with people and social challenges, and on nature. And it's not like that this experience on the farm doesn't expose me to diversity - I have never worked with people with special needs before, nor known anything about anthroposophy, eurythmy, social therapy, certain crafts, etc., so my eyes are definitely being opened. Still, I sometimes crave a more consistent connection with the bigger world. It is hard to, in the time and energy that I have left in the day, choose running to a computer to look up news over hanging out with the volunteers. At Macalester, that type of thing was much easier to be exposed to. But then again, Macalester is also a bubble. So when will I not be in a bubble? Maybe I need to love my bubble just a little bit more.
P.S. My sister, Heide, is working on this project and needs to collect $1700 more to make it happen. Check out the website if you're interested or think you can help: https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=522-244
Vacation was great. I went home to Chapel Hill to see my parents and my sister Christine for 10 days. During that time I slept in (greatest feeling ever), ate, saw a few friends, and played in the lovely fluffy snow of North Carolina. I miss fat,slow flakes and it melting and still looking pretty. Not only has snow meant immense fun in my childhood, but even a few days off of school or early dismissals. And early dismissals meant one thing - getting to watch Garfield, which always annoyingly played the 30 minutes before I normally got back from school. During the vacation, we also looked for some bridesmaid dress potentials (my oldest sister is getting married in June in the Redwood forest of CA), went swimming in a pool, saw a musical version of the "Christmas Carol" (filled with "hahaha"s and "ho ho ho"s!) and went to a slightly awkward and half-entertaining German party (some of them my parents knew). Who knew you could gather so many Germans in one house in Chapel Hill.
Christmas Eve was nice. We went to a Moravian Lovefeast at our Church and caught up with some youth leaders and Christians I hadn't spoken to in years. We drank a warm German wine concoction (pronounced glue-vine), sang, and opened a few presents. Christine promised to either help me visit her in MN or come visit here, the best present she could've given me. If you're reading this Christine, now it's online so that means it's official.
For New Years I took a 9hour megabus ride down to DC to visit my college friend MaryBeth and see another college friend Sara. MaryBeth lives in a 7-person LVC (Lutheran Volunteer Corps) house and we bond over the pros and cons of communal living. New Years Eve we had plenty of wine before heading out to a dance club where we danced the whole night and met guys from Swaziland who had Macalester connections. The rest of the weekend was resting, watching the intense movie of "The Last King of Scotland" (very good), and walking around monuments and other DC neighborhoods. I had a really good time and I was a little scared of coming back to Plowshare.
But now I'm here and things are looking up. It was exciting to see everyone and catch up with the volunteers. I have officially moved into the Red House and though I'm still transitioning (new responsibilities, no longer involved with the Hill House which I miss, and very creepy and loud noises from my walls and the heater in my room) I think this will help me feel more involved in the communal living thing. My room is almost always a sunny golden (when it's light out, of course) because of the windows and direction it faces, which I love.
Last night we celebrated Epiphany. The whole community ate warm rice pudding, three people found an almond that made them one of the wise kings for the night. I and two others sang solos for the "we three kings" song and the Christmas tree was lit (REAL candles, ahh) for the last time. It's moments like these that fill me with peace and content - it all feels right.
I was talking to my volunteer friend, Natalie, about her vacation. She spent it on the farm and two of her friends visited her for a short time. She described the situation as these people from the outside popping her balloon, shocking her with the reality of the world that goes on outside of Plowshare. I feel this way when I visit my brother, Boston, or home, when I read the newspaper and remember that horrendous things, exciting political decisions, war, all of that is still going on. I use the internet only a few times a week, watch a TV show once a week, and when I have time and spot a newspaper on the farm, soak that up maybe once a week. In a way, it is nice. I can focus more on myself, on how to deal with people and social challenges, and on nature. And it's not like that this experience on the farm doesn't expose me to diversity - I have never worked with people with special needs before, nor known anything about anthroposophy, eurythmy, social therapy, certain crafts, etc., so my eyes are definitely being opened. Still, I sometimes crave a more consistent connection with the bigger world. It is hard to, in the time and energy that I have left in the day, choose running to a computer to look up news over hanging out with the volunteers. At Macalester, that type of thing was much easier to be exposed to. But then again, Macalester is also a bubble. So when will I not be in a bubble? Maybe I need to love my bubble just a little bit more.
P.S. My sister, Heide, is working on this project and needs to collect $1700 more to make it happen. Check out the website if you're interested or think you can help: https://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=donate.contribute.projDetail&projdesc=522-244
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
chestnuts roasting on an open flame
Partly the cold grey weather, partly the "pre-vacation" jitters, partly other things, things feel strange on the farm. People are ready for a vacation.
Helene, the volunteer who also lives in the garden room with me (two rooms in the "garden room") is leaving to go to school in Germany at the end of the month. She had a 6-month contract and unfortunately she is very cool, so we will all miss her.
Last week the whole farm had lice. Ahh, childhood memories. I can't wait to take my teddy bear out of its plastic bag in a week.
Things will also change come January after our break. The two farmers who were hired in April are now fired. I wonder about the responsibility shifts. I requested having even one of my farm workshops change to an indoor craft workshop where I could have time to be creative once a week, but the boss didn't sound super receptive to that. I would also like to stay in my current room and continue the "floater" position, but despite my request may be moved in January anyway. I will stick to expressing my opinion and continue to lay out the pros and cons I see, and we'll see if that works.
Sometimes I have doubts about this place. Blogs are not the best medium to express them, but a decent way to show my mood.
Helene, the volunteer who also lives in the garden room with me (two rooms in the "garden room") is leaving to go to school in Germany at the end of the month. She had a 6-month contract and unfortunately she is very cool, so we will all miss her.
Last week the whole farm had lice. Ahh, childhood memories. I can't wait to take my teddy bear out of its plastic bag in a week.
Things will also change come January after our break. The two farmers who were hired in April are now fired. I wonder about the responsibility shifts. I requested having even one of my farm workshops change to an indoor craft workshop where I could have time to be creative once a week, but the boss didn't sound super receptive to that. I would also like to stay in my current room and continue the "floater" position, but despite my request may be moved in January anyway. I will stick to expressing my opinion and continue to lay out the pros and cons I see, and we'll see if that works.
Sometimes I have doubts about this place. Blogs are not the best medium to express them, but a decent way to show my mood.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
(in)sane in the membrane
What unusual weather lately - this morning I took a long walk in a t-shirt to dim sunlight and 4 days earlier it was snowing tiny little balls (you could hardly call 'em snowflakes at how round and compact they were!) on a crisp and very windy day. That crisp and windy day I was helping to build a garden coop (like a greenhouse), standing on the very top edge of the tractor scooper, holding on to the plastic cover for dear life while the workers down below wired the plastic on. I would say staple gunning the coop for a few hours was the highlight of that day...felt like a real farmer woman.
So it's been a while since my last entry, guess I have been choosing sleep and socializing over publicity. But I'll try to remember what's happened since...
-had a really fun weekend with volunteer Natalie and Macalester friends (Jen Agans, Emily Heckel, Sara Gottlieb, Kate Ganong) dancing in Boston. It was a little strange having a Mac crew in such a different part of the country, but just as good as the old times :) We even ran into Emily the next day at a Lush store and I got to talk with my sister Heide from Honduras for her 15 min free phone call! We stayed late enough to see white christmas lights brighten up the night streets. This made me crave a Christmas tree lighting service, like in Chapel Hill where people would sing, eat free cookies and hot cider and see an enormous tree get lit. I'm excited to go home for winter break and maybe see the Nutcracker with my small family crew of 4 this year.
-Marc visited me at the farm and stayed over Sunday night. He got to eat a delicious home-cooked meal, meet some of the characters here (including the volunteers), go for a walk in the woods/get a tour of the place, and eat at the Peterborough diner. He also gifted me a "sudoku for dummies" book which has already commenced to drive me crazy, but nonetheless keep me busier :)
-i'm learning how to knit, learning being the key word
-i've started singing Christmas carols with three other people (a couple and another volunteer, Helene) Monday nights. The idea is that we'll walk around from house to house with a recorder/pitch pipe and sing them for people before vacation starts Dec 18. We're practicing "In the Bleak Midwinter," "Lo, How a Rose 'Er Blooming" (in German), "Noel Nouvelet," and "Gloria" (or is it called hark how the angels sing? I mostly recognize it as Gloooooooo-ooooooooooooooo-oooooooooooooo-ooooooooooooooooooriia!).
-a while ago I saw this cool movie, I think it's just called Temple Grandin, about Temple Grandin, a woman who has her phD in Animal Behavior and was the first Autistic person to really explain what it meant to be Autistic. Because of her, the majority of American slaughterhouses have been redesigned to fit her more calming and logical model of how to move and kill cows. I highly recommend seeing the movie.
This week is Thanksgiving week so we have 7 new residents taking holiday here, but it's not overwhelming because about that many of our residents are spending Thanksgiving with their former caretakers or friends. We have no workshops that day (just helping to cook) and we each eat in a house instead of in the main building as they did last year (which WAS overwhelming, trying to arrange for 70+ people). We hope to play a couple rounds of (tag?) football to bring in a taste of America. And I hope to jump on into the giant hot tub right outside of the farm's founder's house to finish the day off. At the end of the week, I get to go to Trish and Owen's (Owen went to the peace corps with my mom, and they've been family friends since) in Hartford, Connecticut. No specific plans on my end - the refreshment of just being somewhere new, even if I'm just relaxing at their house, is plenty satisfying for me :)
Reading a blog entry like this makes it sound like I'm always busy and always doing something. It is true that I'm lucky to have access to a car (though it's dying by the day, with every new fix it needs) and live only a state or two apart from my brother and friends. That said, there is a lot of down time, time to be by yourself, time to try to come up with a motivational activity, time to think, time to feel lazy. At school, at least half of that time was taken up by homework and studying, or planning the social moments when you weren't doing that. I would feel like I needed more time to myself, more time to reflect. Now I feel like I could go crazy with my thoughts and being by myself. I think about rituals that I can do by myself to keep me focused, like reading or sudoku. I never thought I would say this, but I miss having to do some homework to keep my mind a little straight.
The nice thing is that a lot of the volunteers feel that way and we talk about it. They're a good group of people. Between them and the woods, I remain more sane.
***If you'd like to check out some photos of the farm and us, go to this site: http://www.fredgoldsmithphotography.com/gallery/PlowshareFarmAutumn2010/
So it's been a while since my last entry, guess I have been choosing sleep and socializing over publicity. But I'll try to remember what's happened since...
-had a really fun weekend with volunteer Natalie and Macalester friends (Jen Agans, Emily Heckel, Sara Gottlieb, Kate Ganong) dancing in Boston. It was a little strange having a Mac crew in such a different part of the country, but just as good as the old times :) We even ran into Emily the next day at a Lush store and I got to talk with my sister Heide from Honduras for her 15 min free phone call! We stayed late enough to see white christmas lights brighten up the night streets. This made me crave a Christmas tree lighting service, like in Chapel Hill where people would sing, eat free cookies and hot cider and see an enormous tree get lit. I'm excited to go home for winter break and maybe see the Nutcracker with my small family crew of 4 this year.
-Marc visited me at the farm and stayed over Sunday night. He got to eat a delicious home-cooked meal, meet some of the characters here (including the volunteers), go for a walk in the woods/get a tour of the place, and eat at the Peterborough diner. He also gifted me a "sudoku for dummies" book which has already commenced to drive me crazy, but nonetheless keep me busier :)
-i'm learning how to knit, learning being the key word
-i've started singing Christmas carols with three other people (a couple and another volunteer, Helene) Monday nights. The idea is that we'll walk around from house to house with a recorder/pitch pipe and sing them for people before vacation starts Dec 18. We're practicing "In the Bleak Midwinter," "Lo, How a Rose 'Er Blooming" (in German), "Noel Nouvelet," and "Gloria" (or is it called hark how the angels sing? I mostly recognize it as Gloooooooo-ooooooooooooooo-oooooooooooooo-ooooooooooooooooooriia!).
-a while ago I saw this cool movie, I think it's just called Temple Grandin, about Temple Grandin, a woman who has her phD in Animal Behavior and was the first Autistic person to really explain what it meant to be Autistic. Because of her, the majority of American slaughterhouses have been redesigned to fit her more calming and logical model of how to move and kill cows. I highly recommend seeing the movie.
This week is Thanksgiving week so we have 7 new residents taking holiday here, but it's not overwhelming because about that many of our residents are spending Thanksgiving with their former caretakers or friends. We have no workshops that day (just helping to cook) and we each eat in a house instead of in the main building as they did last year (which WAS overwhelming, trying to arrange for 70+ people). We hope to play a couple rounds of (tag?) football to bring in a taste of America. And I hope to jump on into the giant hot tub right outside of the farm's founder's house to finish the day off. At the end of the week, I get to go to Trish and Owen's (Owen went to the peace corps with my mom, and they've been family friends since) in Hartford, Connecticut. No specific plans on my end - the refreshment of just being somewhere new, even if I'm just relaxing at their house, is plenty satisfying for me :)
Reading a blog entry like this makes it sound like I'm always busy and always doing something. It is true that I'm lucky to have access to a car (though it's dying by the day, with every new fix it needs) and live only a state or two apart from my brother and friends. That said, there is a lot of down time, time to be by yourself, time to try to come up with a motivational activity, time to think, time to feel lazy. At school, at least half of that time was taken up by homework and studying, or planning the social moments when you weren't doing that. I would feel like I needed more time to myself, more time to reflect. Now I feel like I could go crazy with my thoughts and being by myself. I think about rituals that I can do by myself to keep me focused, like reading or sudoku. I never thought I would say this, but I miss having to do some homework to keep my mind a little straight.
The nice thing is that a lot of the volunteers feel that way and we talk about it. They're a good group of people. Between them and the woods, I remain more sane.
***If you'd like to check out some photos of the farm and us, go to this site: http://www.fredgoldsmithphotography.com/gallery/PlowshareFarmAutumn2010/
Monday, November 1, 2010
hee hee ee ee eee...
That's the closest impersonation I can do of one of the resident's witch cackles. She has short grey hair and is nearing her 50s, is a witch every year for Halloween, and does the cutest witch cackle. She'll be mid- "blahblah" (repeating sentences), I'll start to do Halloween noises and for 5 seconds she'll break out into them with me. I also love chasing her with these small felted ghosts around the house, particularly the night before Halloween when our power went out :)
Halloween was fun - on Friday the whole community went to a Halloween party at Lucas community (similar to ours, but with less capable residents). It was great to see everyone in the outfits - Elvis, the costumes where it looks like you're piggy back riding on an ostrich or person, cleopatra, Groucho Marx's (I was one of them), etc. I was a little creeped out by two residents who were completely covered in masks and robes and would stand very close and still to you. heh. There were first a couple games (tie a balloon around your leg and pop everyone else's before yours gets popped, musical chairs), then good dance music, and lastly desert and a play of the children's book about "the little old lady" who wasn't scared of anything.
On Saturday the volunteers went to a house party in Peterborough that was like a small college party. We had considered driving to Keene to crash frat parties afterwards (putting the Germans in the front line so their accents and foreign appeal would get us in), but decided we would do that another weekend.
This week seemed pretty busy since on Thursday night the whole community also went to a professional Eurythmy performance in Keene. At first I had to mentally calm down to try to take it seriously - all the women were completely straight-faced, but their bodies were SOO expreSSIVE and Rudolf STEIner, mOOOVing to the poems that were being read, that it was hard for me to access it. But as the performance went on, there was a little more music and a few humorous pieces that I ended up really enjoying it. I remembered how much I miss being a part of and seeing musical/dance performance and how easy school has made it for me to access that. I occasionally drum in one of the houses when people aren't around to make it a private performance, and I often dance in my room, but I could always use more music.
In other news, my brother Niels' family is expecting a baby boy in March!! I'm so excited for a new cute nephew :)
That's all for now, I don't have Thanksgiving off but I might see Marc a few days later. Time is going by pretty fast here, and before I know it I'll be back home for Christmas (which I am already looking forward to). Stay healthy as the weather turns cold and VOTE tomorrow!
Halloween was fun - on Friday the whole community went to a Halloween party at Lucas community (similar to ours, but with less capable residents). It was great to see everyone in the outfits - Elvis, the costumes where it looks like you're piggy back riding on an ostrich or person, cleopatra, Groucho Marx's (I was one of them), etc. I was a little creeped out by two residents who were completely covered in masks and robes and would stand very close and still to you. heh. There were first a couple games (tie a balloon around your leg and pop everyone else's before yours gets popped, musical chairs), then good dance music, and lastly desert and a play of the children's book about "the little old lady" who wasn't scared of anything.
On Saturday the volunteers went to a house party in Peterborough that was like a small college party. We had considered driving to Keene to crash frat parties afterwards (putting the Germans in the front line so their accents and foreign appeal would get us in), but decided we would do that another weekend.
This week seemed pretty busy since on Thursday night the whole community also went to a professional Eurythmy performance in Keene. At first I had to mentally calm down to try to take it seriously - all the women were completely straight-faced, but their bodies were SOO expreSSIVE and Rudolf STEIner, mOOOVing to the poems that were being read, that it was hard for me to access it. But as the performance went on, there was a little more music and a few humorous pieces that I ended up really enjoying it. I remembered how much I miss being a part of and seeing musical/dance performance and how easy school has made it for me to access that. I occasionally drum in one of the houses when people aren't around to make it a private performance, and I often dance in my room, but I could always use more music.
In other news, my brother Niels' family is expecting a baby boy in March!! I'm so excited for a new cute nephew :)
That's all for now, I don't have Thanksgiving off but I might see Marc a few days later. Time is going by pretty fast here, and before I know it I'll be back home for Christmas (which I am already looking forward to). Stay healthy as the weather turns cold and VOTE tomorrow!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
¡arriba!
Having fun with other people is always nice of course, but this alone party I´m having right now is highly satisfying. My brother, Marc, is on dorm duty right now and I decided to arrive at his mansion apartment before he got back home tonight. (Marc is a Spanish teacher and assistant soccer coach for Tilton High, a boarding school whose dorm halls look 5x nicer than any Macalester one). After having dropped my things off at the apartment, I took a crisp fall walk around the campus (seriously, Marc, how did you land this one again?). Now I am listening to his latin pop, sipping on Newcastles, and excitedly using technology. What a party! Seriously.
Ok, it´s not like I don´t see computers or TVs on the farm. In fact, I started watching Glee last Tuesday and go online every few days. I´m just saying that they have become a little more exciting since I´ve been here.
News from the farm:
-my favorite dog on the farm, and one of three total (a 1-yr old black and white mutt cutie pie) bit the finger of the resident who occasionally hits people and curses like it´s tourettes...though the dog has never bit anyone else, she had to be taken away, by law, immediately. I´ll miss you, Bailey :(
-I went out last night with two volunteers and a house mother (she´s the hip one). She was probably the loudest hollerer for the cover band and did not hold back dancing one bit. After a fun-filled night at the bar (mysterious butt-grabbings and all), we pulled a classic move and ate fried food at the diner. Good times.
-I got my hair chopped off one night when the volunteers and I were particularly inspired. I essentially got a bob cut and my neck even had to be shaved! It´s the shortest I´ve ever had it, and I think it´s growing on me...ha, literally AND figuratively.
-I´m still excited for Halloween but don´t know what to dress up as...any ideas?
Sending my love,
Lisa
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
crunchy:
The leaves, the granola, and many of the people here are that.
I'm already getting excited about Halloween. I hear that we go to Lucas community (a similar one to Plowshare but in Temple, NH) for a Halloween party and it's really fun to see everyone in costume and getting excited about candy and spooky things. I really enjoy being silly with the residents but have to control myself in the work place (occasionally), so I'm looking forward to that not mattering at all. I also look forward to playing more jokes on the volunteers, considering I went to bed last night with rocks from Portsmouth stuck under my pillow. Vengeance is mine.
Four of us went to Portsmouth yesterday and it was ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS. The town is cute and has a lot of nice shops with samples (tribute to Mom and Dad). It was so freeing to smell salty air, walk along the beach and nearly jump into the water. I started thinking of my grandpa (Opa) and how he (and mom) grew up with the sea and delicious fresh sea food. As much of a mountain girl as I am, I can imagine loving spending more time by the ocean.
What a contrast to earlier in the week which was rainy, cold and a little dramatic. I switched one of my shifts to see my brother Marc help coach a soccer game at the high school nearby - despite the constant downpour, I was very happy to see him in his element. The other coach seems like a Marc-kinda guy, with Marc-kinda humor :) When I got back, though, it turns out I had upset someone because I hadn't told every step of the chain that someone else was covering my shift. While many of you are probably confused by my whole work situation and schedule, the gist of it is that there are many people involved and the chain of commands confuses me. I'm pretty sure miscommunications like this will happen the rest of the year, like they do in life, but here it starts to become the biggest newsflash of the day :)
Speaking of small-town/small-community things, I also went to Milford's Pumpkin Fest this past weekend (one is in Keene next weekend - yay!). Basically what that means is: 1 pumpkin per 30 min is shot out of a 20-ft long gun/tube to splatter half a mile down into a corn field (oo, ahh!), food like hot dogs that are "oh so gross" to Germans used to brats, music, a few booths, and 5 GIANT a** pumpkins that won "biggest pumpkin of the year" contest. I think the largest one weighed in at 1,800 lbs! A friend and I were fantacizing about carving one of them out for a jack-o-lantern, and then hanging out of the mouth pretending to writhe in pain when kids get their candy. Or, having two small children rest their heads poking out of the eye holes. I hope they do something good with those pumpkins.
I'm already getting excited about Halloween. I hear that we go to Lucas community (a similar one to Plowshare but in Temple, NH) for a Halloween party and it's really fun to see everyone in costume and getting excited about candy and spooky things. I really enjoy being silly with the residents but have to control myself in the work place (occasionally), so I'm looking forward to that not mattering at all. I also look forward to playing more jokes on the volunteers, considering I went to bed last night with rocks from Portsmouth stuck under my pillow. Vengeance is mine.
Four of us went to Portsmouth yesterday and it was ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS. The town is cute and has a lot of nice shops with samples (tribute to Mom and Dad). It was so freeing to smell salty air, walk along the beach and nearly jump into the water. I started thinking of my grandpa (Opa) and how he (and mom) grew up with the sea and delicious fresh sea food. As much of a mountain girl as I am, I can imagine loving spending more time by the ocean.
What a contrast to earlier in the week which was rainy, cold and a little dramatic. I switched one of my shifts to see my brother Marc help coach a soccer game at the high school nearby - despite the constant downpour, I was very happy to see him in his element. The other coach seems like a Marc-kinda guy, with Marc-kinda humor :) When I got back, though, it turns out I had upset someone because I hadn't told every step of the chain that someone else was covering my shift. While many of you are probably confused by my whole work situation and schedule, the gist of it is that there are many people involved and the chain of commands confuses me. I'm pretty sure miscommunications like this will happen the rest of the year, like they do in life, but here it starts to become the biggest newsflash of the day :)
Speaking of small-town/small-community things, I also went to Milford's Pumpkin Fest this past weekend (one is in Keene next weekend - yay!). Basically what that means is: 1 pumpkin per 30 min is shot out of a 20-ft long gun/tube to splatter half a mile down into a corn field (oo, ahh!), food like hot dogs that are "oh so gross" to Germans used to brats, music, a few booths, and 5 GIANT a** pumpkins that won "biggest pumpkin of the year" contest. I think the largest one weighed in at 1,800 lbs! A friend and I were fantacizing about carving one of them out for a jack-o-lantern, and then hanging out of the mouth pretending to writhe in pain when kids get their candy. Or, having two small children rest their heads poking out of the eye holes. I hope they do something good with those pumpkins.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Poopy horns
The title of this entry is an example of what makes this farm "unique," or nonconventional, or hippie, or integrative...at Plowshare, there's always something odd, funny, or quirky going on.
So this past Wednesday was St. Michaelmas Day, celebrating the coming Autumn season and representing courage in the face of change. St. Michael is an Aarchangel and is brought up in secular and Christian settings. There's a whole lot about Plowshare, anthroposophy and the spirituality here that I don't understand (yet?) but basically on Wednesday the Plowshare residents and a few neighbors paraded around the farm, following the beat of a drum, 4 guys in a dragon suit, someone dressed as a princess, a prince, St. Michael and the narrator. A play of the dragon being (gently) wounded and the princess being saved by St. Michael ensued, along with being (accidentally?) pelted with flower bulbs that we would later plant in front of our houses.We ate a big fall harvest feast, after having all shoveled a little bit of soil over horns filled with fresh cow poop.
I was in that morning workshop. It was hard for me not to chuckle the whole time as the residents sat down on buckets around freshly shoveled poo. Apparently it's a common biodynamic practice, to fill cow horns with manure and bury them in the soil until spring time when they've produced this (apparently wonderfully smelling) compost to be spread over the crops. One of the residents "Mike" is this hilarious, loud New Jerseyan who looks like he could be a pizza boy and DJ, and he kept asking "Lisa is this poop? Is this poop that you're spilling all over my hands??" as I would attempt to precisely scoop spoonfulls of it into the horn. There are pictures, don't worry.
In other news, I went to the White Mountains this weekend with two volunteers and had a lot of fun. We first struggled with the fire and slept in a freezing tent (thankfully I had a real sleeping bag). But, it was beautiful there. We hiked and sat along rivers to eat, though the trail we picked happened to be really confusing and we got lost, marching through marshy waters --> cold, wet feet all day. When things like that happen, I imagine all of the people who thru-hike and backpack for long periods of time, and I feel very comfortable :)
I think that's all for now. I'm going to try to visit my brother, Marc, either this weekend or soon (he works at a boarding school in Tilton, NH) which I'm really looking forward to.
Love,
Lisa
P.S. We've finally started making pizza! We made 20 (and a little heart-shaped bread dough, made by moi) last Thursday...can't wait to start getting fancy with 'em.
So this past Wednesday was St. Michaelmas Day, celebrating the coming Autumn season and representing courage in the face of change. St. Michael is an Aarchangel and is brought up in secular and Christian settings. There's a whole lot about Plowshare, anthroposophy and the spirituality here that I don't understand (yet?) but basically on Wednesday the Plowshare residents and a few neighbors paraded around the farm, following the beat of a drum, 4 guys in a dragon suit, someone dressed as a princess, a prince, St. Michael and the narrator. A play of the dragon being (gently) wounded and the princess being saved by St. Michael ensued, along with being (accidentally?) pelted with flower bulbs that we would later plant in front of our houses.We ate a big fall harvest feast, after having all shoveled a little bit of soil over horns filled with fresh cow poop.
I was in that morning workshop. It was hard for me not to chuckle the whole time as the residents sat down on buckets around freshly shoveled poo. Apparently it's a common biodynamic practice, to fill cow horns with manure and bury them in the soil until spring time when they've produced this (apparently wonderfully smelling) compost to be spread over the crops. One of the residents "Mike" is this hilarious, loud New Jerseyan who looks like he could be a pizza boy and DJ, and he kept asking "Lisa is this poop? Is this poop that you're spilling all over my hands??" as I would attempt to precisely scoop spoonfulls of it into the horn. There are pictures, don't worry.
In other news, I went to the White Mountains this weekend with two volunteers and had a lot of fun. We first struggled with the fire and slept in a freezing tent (thankfully I had a real sleeping bag). But, it was beautiful there. We hiked and sat along rivers to eat, though the trail we picked happened to be really confusing and we got lost, marching through marshy waters --> cold, wet feet all day. When things like that happen, I imagine all of the people who thru-hike and backpack for long periods of time, and I feel very comfortable :)
I think that's all for now. I'm going to try to visit my brother, Marc, either this weekend or soon (he works at a boarding school in Tilton, NH) which I'm really looking forward to.
Love,
Lisa
P.S. We've finally started making pizza! We made 20 (and a little heart-shaped bread dough, made by moi) last Thursday...can't wait to start getting fancy with 'em.
Monday, September 27, 2010
smack into a Boston weekend
Now I'm sitting in the Tufts library, eeking out a few hours on the computer to respond to emails and watch an episode of Glee. Last time I was in a college library was at Macalester, and it makes me chuckle at how similar smaller college libraries can be (every two minutes doing a scan of whether you know anyone, someone across the room saying "bless you" when I sneeze, and a few people loudly talking about their wild weekends). Makes me miss Macalester a little, but not enough to want to do another academic year there...you can do it, Seniors!
This weekend I spent in Boston visiting Jen (my roommate and friend from Mac) and walking around downtown with 3 of the Plowshare volunteers. I had mentioned to them how I always have this secret desire/expectation to run into someone I know in a US city, though I know they're huge and it's unrealistic. 10 minutes later I run into another Mac grad! And on our way back to the Commons park, we pass a Quidditch game! As if that weren't epic enough, a huge orchestra was having a concert at the park playing that composition that sounds like conquering the American frontier (it's really peppy but I unfortunately can not type out my singing syllables), so as the Quidditch game was ending and everyone cheered, the piece was climaxing and oh how you had to be there :) I'd only been to Boston once before, so it was really interesting to have new imagery for it. I still sat on one of the duck statues and had a picture made of me, hoping to put it side-by-side with the one of me when I was 8.
I needed to get away from the farm this weekend more than the other weekends. The week started off fine and beautiful, but come Thursday things started to get tough. I caught a cold and had my first few mornings at a newly settled house with a resident as recent to the farm as I am. "Claire" is about 20, super hyper and switches moods and actions very quickly. She usually does and says the opposite of what you say, and you have to have immense patience and space with her. However, there isn't the whole day to wait for someone to come around, so when it comes down to actually leaving the house (having not accomplished tooth brushing or bed making) she can get panicky...and slaps people. So I had my first series of smacking Thursday, then the subsequent days. Not the best way to start a day. She does this with many people and it is something we're trying to deal with, but I don't know...she stresses me out way more than any of the other residents. I'm not sure that it's the best for me or the farm to assign a new volunteer like me to her at all at this point. We'll see how that goes.
In other news, I really wanted to go to the Common Ground Festival (a local, huge and exciting agriculture fest) in Maine this weekend, but I was so exhausted come Friday/Saturday (my days off are Sun/Mon) that I didn't have the energy to drive 5 hrs to a camp site and perk on up Sunday morning for a full day's worth of activities. It is something I'm determined to attend, so maybe next time. Instead I went to Boston and saw a wonderful happy friend of mine :) Next weekend, though, I'm going to the White Mtns to camp with a volunteer or two - should be one of the most beautiful weekends in the mountains with the freshly colored leaves and before the first frost. Definitely looking forward to that.
On the farm, turns out I won't get to learn milking until the Spring when more cows will hopefully be giving milk and they can train me on one or two who will get used to me. So far I've massaged a cow's utter - a funny experience with a few tail whackings (I'm just getting beaten up, aren't I?). Those veins are huge and I feel like I'm kneading dough. I have helped heard cows which definitely takes practice (in my own body language and what spots on the cow give them what signals) and when I give the pigs water, their enormous bodies finally rouse to sniff me out. Little joys of life :)
We've also started something called Eurythmy once a week (they do this in Waldorf schools) where we do fluid motions with or without these metal poles to vowel sounds. haha, a little weird to explain and I'm not the best person to ask, but imagine a yoga teacher asking you to do some basic dance moves and catch poles you throw. The instructor used to live in Asheville and is Russian with his long white hair in pony tail. One of the residents is obsessed with him and says "THANK YOU VADEEM!" whenever he sees him for no reason at all. (This guy is also great at bird impressions and likes to beat box quietly in the background a lot). So now, we've all started saying "thank you" in that way whenever we're done with Eurythmy :)
If you made it through this entry, congratulations, you three people following this blog!
This weekend I spent in Boston visiting Jen (my roommate and friend from Mac) and walking around downtown with 3 of the Plowshare volunteers. I had mentioned to them how I always have this secret desire/expectation to run into someone I know in a US city, though I know they're huge and it's unrealistic. 10 minutes later I run into another Mac grad! And on our way back to the Commons park, we pass a Quidditch game! As if that weren't epic enough, a huge orchestra was having a concert at the park playing that composition that sounds like conquering the American frontier (it's really peppy but I unfortunately can not type out my singing syllables), so as the Quidditch game was ending and everyone cheered, the piece was climaxing and oh how you had to be there :) I'd only been to Boston once before, so it was really interesting to have new imagery for it. I still sat on one of the duck statues and had a picture made of me, hoping to put it side-by-side with the one of me when I was 8.
I needed to get away from the farm this weekend more than the other weekends. The week started off fine and beautiful, but come Thursday things started to get tough. I caught a cold and had my first few mornings at a newly settled house with a resident as recent to the farm as I am. "Claire" is about 20, super hyper and switches moods and actions very quickly. She usually does and says the opposite of what you say, and you have to have immense patience and space with her. However, there isn't the whole day to wait for someone to come around, so when it comes down to actually leaving the house (having not accomplished tooth brushing or bed making) she can get panicky...and slaps people. So I had my first series of smacking Thursday, then the subsequent days. Not the best way to start a day. She does this with many people and it is something we're trying to deal with, but I don't know...she stresses me out way more than any of the other residents. I'm not sure that it's the best for me or the farm to assign a new volunteer like me to her at all at this point. We'll see how that goes.
In other news, I really wanted to go to the Common Ground Festival (a local, huge and exciting agriculture fest) in Maine this weekend, but I was so exhausted come Friday/Saturday (my days off are Sun/Mon) that I didn't have the energy to drive 5 hrs to a camp site and perk on up Sunday morning for a full day's worth of activities. It is something I'm determined to attend, so maybe next time. Instead I went to Boston and saw a wonderful happy friend of mine :) Next weekend, though, I'm going to the White Mtns to camp with a volunteer or two - should be one of the most beautiful weekends in the mountains with the freshly colored leaves and before the first frost. Definitely looking forward to that.
On the farm, turns out I won't get to learn milking until the Spring when more cows will hopefully be giving milk and they can train me on one or two who will get used to me. So far I've massaged a cow's utter - a funny experience with a few tail whackings (I'm just getting beaten up, aren't I?). Those veins are huge and I feel like I'm kneading dough. I have helped heard cows which definitely takes practice (in my own body language and what spots on the cow give them what signals) and when I give the pigs water, their enormous bodies finally rouse to sniff me out. Little joys of life :)
We've also started something called Eurythmy once a week (they do this in Waldorf schools) where we do fluid motions with or without these metal poles to vowel sounds. haha, a little weird to explain and I'm not the best person to ask, but imagine a yoga teacher asking you to do some basic dance moves and catch poles you throw. The instructor used to live in Asheville and is Russian with his long white hair in pony tail. One of the residents is obsessed with him and says "THANK YOU VADEEM!" whenever he sees him for no reason at all. (This guy is also great at bird impressions and likes to beat box quietly in the background a lot). So now, we've all started saying "thank you" in that way whenever we're done with Eurythmy :)
If you made it through this entry, congratulations, you three people following this blog!
Monday, September 20, 2010
This might be a distracted blog because the people around me are talking about the recent egg crisis - we need 10 to bake cookies tomorrow to sell and there are only 5. Someone already cried about it today, and our hens must not be in the mood because they sure aren't producing enough. Since coming to Plowshare, it is topics like these that dominate many conversations :)
This week our schedule was beginning to fall into place, though several days started off with me running around trying to find out exactly which house I could have breakfast in or what chores I was supposed to be doing. I'm in a weird position where I don't live in a house with residents so my responsibilities are more scattered and focused on the farm/animals, though I still have a good amount of interaction with the residents. My off days are Sunday/Monday and other free times are Tuesday morning and Saturday evening. Since there are more volunteers than in the past, there are more free times.
This past Thurs-Friday I went to the world fair in Vermont with the Red House residents (the house I'm "attached" to). One of the residents grew up on a dairy farm near the fair and wanted us to meet his family and see his background a bit. And, I'm not going to lie, a big added bonus was eating delicious home-made ice cream and drinking some of the best hot chocolate milk I've ever had :) But seriously, I've been so spoiled on the food front. I had some fries there and for the rest of the car ride I was aching - your body really responds to what you put in it. After not having unhealthy snack food for a while, it took a toll on my body. Now I don't really desire eating that kind of food for a while.
The weather this weekend was so beautiful that I went with some of the volunteers hiking around the farm, laying by a lake, and doing our frequent nighttime pond hang outs. Coming recently from MN, I know I have to take advantage of every outdoor moment before frostbite starts to ATTACK!
I also feel like I'm starting to be friends with some of the residents. Not only is it fun, but it's important to develop connections so that you develop mutual respect and have an easier time understanding each other, particularly when someone clearly isn't in the mood to work or doesn't want to listen to you. I figure that will become easier as time goes on, but here, as much as you can predict (what phrases the residents will say 100x a day, for example), there might be just as many things that you can't. Changing seasons, new environments, a personal crisis, all of that can flick a switch for someone that you just have to ride out with them. Makes me think more about just how many waves of emotions and experiences we all have as individuals, and how beautiful it is that we can still live together on this planet. Everything's harmoniously crazy in a way.
I'll leave you with one of the prayers we sing before eating a meal. Til next time!
"For Sun and Rain,
for Earth and Grain,
for all who toil
on seed and soil
so we may eat
this daily food
We give our love
and thanks, dear God....May the meal be blessed!"
*Devour food*
Love, Lisa
This week our schedule was beginning to fall into place, though several days started off with me running around trying to find out exactly which house I could have breakfast in or what chores I was supposed to be doing. I'm in a weird position where I don't live in a house with residents so my responsibilities are more scattered and focused on the farm/animals, though I still have a good amount of interaction with the residents. My off days are Sunday/Monday and other free times are Tuesday morning and Saturday evening. Since there are more volunteers than in the past, there are more free times.
This past Thurs-Friday I went to the world fair in Vermont with the Red House residents (the house I'm "attached" to). One of the residents grew up on a dairy farm near the fair and wanted us to meet his family and see his background a bit. And, I'm not going to lie, a big added bonus was eating delicious home-made ice cream and drinking some of the best hot chocolate milk I've ever had :) But seriously, I've been so spoiled on the food front. I had some fries there and for the rest of the car ride I was aching - your body really responds to what you put in it. After not having unhealthy snack food for a while, it took a toll on my body. Now I don't really desire eating that kind of food for a while.
The weather this weekend was so beautiful that I went with some of the volunteers hiking around the farm, laying by a lake, and doing our frequent nighttime pond hang outs. Coming recently from MN, I know I have to take advantage of every outdoor moment before frostbite starts to ATTACK!
I also feel like I'm starting to be friends with some of the residents. Not only is it fun, but it's important to develop connections so that you develop mutual respect and have an easier time understanding each other, particularly when someone clearly isn't in the mood to work or doesn't want to listen to you. I figure that will become easier as time goes on, but here, as much as you can predict (what phrases the residents will say 100x a day, for example), there might be just as many things that you can't. Changing seasons, new environments, a personal crisis, all of that can flick a switch for someone that you just have to ride out with them. Makes me think more about just how many waves of emotions and experiences we all have as individuals, and how beautiful it is that we can still live together on this planet. Everything's harmoniously crazy in a way.
I'll leave you with one of the prayers we sing before eating a meal. Til next time!
"For Sun and Rain,
for Earth and Grain,
for all who toil
on seed and soil
so we may eat
this daily food
We give our love
and thanks, dear God....May the meal be blessed!"
*Devour food*
Love, Lisa
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Day off
Thank you, library, for your bounty of internet signals. Amen.
Ok, so that's not how all our prayers before and after every meal go, but I find myself saying "thank you" more nowadays than maybe I have ever in my life...perhaps minus Thailand. Also, the weather is friggin delicious and I'm going for a long hike on my second day off tomorrow.
As I went to work hauling logs around this morning, the other informed volunteers went to an orientation in which they were told their lodging and probable tasks for the year. Well, I eventually found out and...I'm going to be living in what is known as the "Garden House." It's actually not a house with a house parent, co-workers or residents - it's pretty much a basement where they store some garden supplies. haha, ok it's not as bad as it may sound. In fact, I can imagine having my own space will be my saving grace down the road, and I still am "attached" to two houses during which I'll have to do morning rituals with the residents. I'm also facing the garden/farm, which will be my main set of tasks this year (caring for animals and plants). I was then told I'll probably be the person they train in making PIZZA! every Thursday and delivering baked goodies twice a week with the residents, meaning I get to do more variable tasks and get off the farm more often than other volunteers. I'd say I got a deal :)
Ok, so that's not how all our prayers before and after every meal go, but I find myself saying "thank you" more nowadays than maybe I have ever in my life...perhaps minus Thailand. Also, the weather is friggin delicious and I'm going for a long hike on my second day off tomorrow.
As I went to work hauling logs around this morning, the other informed volunteers went to an orientation in which they were told their lodging and probable tasks for the year. Well, I eventually found out and...I'm going to be living in what is known as the "Garden House." It's actually not a house with a house parent, co-workers or residents - it's pretty much a basement where they store some garden supplies. haha, ok it's not as bad as it may sound. In fact, I can imagine having my own space will be my saving grace down the road, and I still am "attached" to two houses during which I'll have to do morning rituals with the residents. I'm also facing the garden/farm, which will be my main set of tasks this year (caring for animals and plants). I was then told I'll probably be the person they train in making PIZZA! every Thursday and delivering baked goodies twice a week with the residents, meaning I get to do more variable tasks and get off the farm more often than other volunteers. I'd say I got a deal :)
Thursday, September 9, 2010
I'm connected!!
The internet can work, the internet can work! After having tried a total of 1 1/2 hours over the course of the week to get online, this slow dial-up process on the one communal computer on the farm has proven me...OK. But it's working now so I'll update you on my first week here...
Wow, what a whirlwind. I thought I would be coming to this quiet, peaceful, "try to keep busy" farm and here I am in what is apparently a very rich, "full" place: rich with unique people and experiences, full with laughter as well as chores. To laugh at simple things, develop patience and meaning in simple tasks (cleaning is a biggie), and enjoy life's simple pleasures is good. To summarize, the volunteers, co-workers and residents (those living with "special needs") are wonderful.
To give you an idea of the days I've had this week (remember it's more of an orientation week and we're not yet in our groove):
Wake up 6:30
Morning chores/breakfast 7am-9am
Workshop (on farm, kitchen, bakery, woodwork, or crafts) 9-12
Lunch 12-12:45 (and if you're on cleaning duty, until 1:20)
Rest time until 2pm, then some snack (cookies!)
Workshop 2 2:15-5pm
Dinner prep/some rest 5-6pm
Dinner 6-7
Clean-up and bedtime ritual for residents 7-8
In other words...I am TIRED by the end of the day and usually just want to take it easy and go to bed by 9:30. Oops, past my bedtime already.
The area is beautiful (mountains in the background, but not the White Mountains), the weather is getting crisp, and the food is always wholesome and delicious. Who knows, I'll either get strong candy cravings in a month or I'll get over my cravings through this experience.
I'm thinking of you all and want to say that I will probably not be great about communicating, particularly via internet, unless I find out a way to speed up the system. Please write me letters anytime, though, and I hope you all are taking each day at a time as well.
Love,
Lisa
Quote of the week from one of the residents: "It's good we don't know everything. Life would be boring if we did."
Wow, what a whirlwind. I thought I would be coming to this quiet, peaceful, "try to keep busy" farm and here I am in what is apparently a very rich, "full" place: rich with unique people and experiences, full with laughter as well as chores. To laugh at simple things, develop patience and meaning in simple tasks (cleaning is a biggie), and enjoy life's simple pleasures is good. To summarize, the volunteers, co-workers and residents (those living with "special needs") are wonderful.
To give you an idea of the days I've had this week (remember it's more of an orientation week and we're not yet in our groove):
Wake up 6:30
Morning chores/breakfast 7am-9am
Workshop (on farm, kitchen, bakery, woodwork, or crafts) 9-12
Lunch 12-12:45 (and if you're on cleaning duty, until 1:20)
Rest time until 2pm, then some snack (cookies!)
Workshop 2 2:15-5pm
Dinner prep/some rest 5-6pm
Dinner 6-7
Clean-up and bedtime ritual for residents 7-8
In other words...I am TIRED by the end of the day and usually just want to take it easy and go to bed by 9:30. Oops, past my bedtime already.
The area is beautiful (mountains in the background, but not the White Mountains), the weather is getting crisp, and the food is always wholesome and delicious. Who knows, I'll either get strong candy cravings in a month or I'll get over my cravings through this experience.
I'm thinking of you all and want to say that I will probably not be great about communicating, particularly via internet, unless I find out a way to speed up the system. Please write me letters anytime, though, and I hope you all are taking each day at a time as well.
Love,
Lisa
Quote of the week from one of the residents: "It's good we don't know everything. Life would be boring if we did."
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
My attempt at blogging
For those of you who know my humor, Plisashares makes sense. Please Lisa, share about Plowshare --> Plisashares. ha...ha...
So I'm not even at Plowshare right now, but I look forward to attempting to keep this up. Pressure me if need be!
My mailing address will be:
Plowshare Farm c/o Lisa Bruckner
32 Whitney Road
Greenfield New Hampshire 03047
Their website is: http://www.plowsharefarm.org
My mailing address will be:
Plowshare Farm c/o Lisa Bruckner
32 Whitney Road
Greenfield New Hampshire 03047
Their website is: http://www.plowsharefarm.org
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