I keep thinking that any day now, all the snow will melt, the daisies will pop out and I'll be running into our pond for an after-workshop swim. Now it's more like: snow keeps surprising us, the occasional melt makes our farm into a slip-and-slide, and I slide into the house for more hot cocoa and cookies after workshop :)
The past two weekends I've been in New York City. The first NYC visit was with Danny (a volunteer) to his friend's apartment where we hung out mostly inside, watching slam dunk contests and Man v. Food, and me throwing up in public trash cans due to the stomach flu. The second time I went with Natalie and Erin where we went site-seeing and stayed with Anne, my sister Christine's roommate from MN. I was feeling much better and needless to say had a better time! This weekend Jen and Namara are coming to her house in Amherst and we'll have a happy Macalester reunion sleep-over tonight :) She's up for guiding a circus performance with kids, leprachaun-themed? Sounds intriguing...I'll let you know if I see it!
Tomorrow is my Dad's 70th birthday! Now he's in CA with my Mom, my brothers and their families for a few months. I sent him a card I had worked on for a while. The cover is a portrait I drew of him and in the inside are some German quotes that I like. I want to make my Pop proud!
I feel like I'm learning a lot about myself at this place. Any given day I can be up or down, mad or sad, reflective or normal, at peace or nervous. I look up to Natalie - she's worked in communities for years and says that through that experience has found herself much more. I can see what she means about "coming out of yourself" more now...I'm learning how to be more honest with how I feel in the moment it arises, which usually means being more direct. It's one of the hardest things for me to do with some of the residents and with people in general. I find that there's a lot of fear around things that I do, worrying about how a resident will react or a volunteer will take it. But sometimes it's necessary to fight with friends, to learn how to deal with all parts of people, the good, the bad and the ugly. To just try things for the sake of trying and learning if that's how you want to do it next time. Not to say I think I'm becoming a hard-ass, but that I'm learning how to be more comfortable with myself.
